After my 12th result which was not cleared, I got demotivated. People used to pinch me for that including my friends and relatives. I was completely lost and don’t know what to do next. My three months pass away like this only. Then I decided not to continue my study, instead, I will work somewhere. As the financial condition of my house was not good at that time. I belong to a nuclear family consist of a mother, father, and younger brother.
My brother was studying at that time, I was only 17 years old. Now the challenging task for me was where to work and in which field in Saharanpur. In Saharanpur, it’s hard to find a job as it’s a small city, all I can go for was labor work such as working in someone shop kind of. Important thing was to get a job. Actually, my family background belongs to the textile businesses like cloth boutique or shops, so family member insists me to work in a cloth shop. I wasn’t interested in that at all. So I went to one of friend Raju to discuss work and ask him to help me get a job somewhere or in his company. He said that he will ask if there is any vacancy.
Like this, around 5 to 6 months fly away. To cope up with this situation was frustrating for me and for my family as well. I was totally helpless at that time. Then one income-tax lawyer wants me to meet him for work and at that time I use to travel by bicycle. So I went for a meeting and he kept me for the work of submitting file from one department to another and of maintaining the Account book of the company. My salary was 200rs/month, which was very less but I have no other option. For 2 to 3 months I worked with him but after that, I felt that I am not liking that work. I use to come home for lunch and after that, I was not willing to go back to work. I was in a dilemma to go or not to go,
I go to work only to spend my day and one day after lunch I didn’t go to work. The next day Boss asked me why I didn’t return back to the office after my lunch, I started giving lame excuses and against that boss got angry and talk to me in a harsh way, finally, I said that I don’t want to work here and left the job. After coming home I realize that again I had become unemployed and started searching for a new job, I use to stay out for a long time in search of a job but nothing works out. Then one fine day my good friend Raju asks me to work on his place as he was getting married and won’t leave for at least 3 months. So I said ok, meet his boss and started my work over there in 400rs/ month salary.
The office was very small including a chair and table, there was no work. All I have to do was sit at a table until the boss comes and in the evening I have to close the office and hand over the keys to him. But my lunch timing was not fixed as when the boss visits the office then only I can go for lunch, it can be 1 pm, 2 pm or any other time. My routine was to go in the morning to his house, take keys and open the office, then wait for him till lunch and then close the office in the evening and hand over the keys to him.
The rest of the time I just have to sit ideally. For a couple of months, I was just passing my time from the 1st floor to the 2nd floor within the interval of half an hour or reading the newspaper. As the office was on the 1st floor. After 2-3 months he started giving me work of medical supply, he gave me boxes and I put it on the backside of my bicycle and went away for delivery. My whole day uses to spend in delivering medical boxes only. I use to cover approximately 20 km distance. I use to reach home by night 10 pm like from morning 10 am tonight at 10 pm I use to work.
Almost a year went away working over there as at the end of 1991 I have joined and 1992 also passed away. In the office, there was no facility for tea as well just do work of delivery and if some day delivery work was not there, then sit ideal, he just increases my salary by 100rs in a year.
Apart from this when I went to hand over the keys to his house, he made me do his household work as well such as fill up water pot, take his kids in the garden, etc. I could not able to understand myself as sometimes I use to feel good and another moment getting frustrated. I use to think that this is the way I am going to live my whole life.
When 1993 get started and I use to follow the same boring routine every day, my level of frustration went high, I started feeling suffocated and my age was also 19yrs nor even am I studying. I don’t have extra money to do anything or study, so every day the same thought used to cross my mind, what to do? One day I told my mother that I want to start my studies again, the mummy was like now what you will study as 2 years of a gap is already there and once a person starts working he won’t feel like studying with the same focus. But I was feeling from within that I should appear for the exam once again. Now full-time exam I can’t give as I have to work for the money, I don’t have my family support for the study but was getting guts feeling that I should give the exam again.
I thought of giving a private exam as in a private exam one doesn’t have to attend lectures or classes. Just have to appear for the exam. So from one college I went and filled a private exam form without informing my family, I somehow arrange everything including fees. I didn’t inform anyone about this re-appearing of the private exam form. After a few months, the exam was there, so I don’t know how to prepare myself for that and if I study in the office then my boss will come to know about it.
If I went home and try to check my old books then mummy will question me for the same and that was fearing me. So one day I took out my old books and purchased guide books. Then after I informed mummy about my exam form and mummy started to backfire that how I will appear for that as the need to take leave from the work, your boss will agree or not, so I said let me first talk to him. I said that I will ask for one month’s leave, my mummy got panic that one month’s leave means no salary and he can fire me from work.
Finally, I have to prepare for my exams in every possible way and one month’s leave is also required from the job, I was afraid also that what will happen next but from within I have the self-confidence that I can do it. My boss was okay with my leave but the condition was to find another person who can work in his place for a month. So the same I did find one of my friends and ask him to work in my place for a month, just like Raju did to me. Then after I started my preparations and finished my exams nicely, after completing my exam I have confidence that this time I will clear my exam.
I came back to the office and ask the boss that I can continue my work from tomorrow as I am done with my exams. So boss question me that what I will do once I clear the exam? I said I have no idea nor even I have thought about it. So he said that do one thing find another job and let this person continue this work. Now I was shocked, thought of that mummy said correctly I might lose my job. I was thinking that how I will say at home. When I informed my mummy she burst out in anger and said that now what I will do as result is also unpredictable and lost my job as well, have no money. So finally, once again I started searching for a job, there was a lady in my neighborhood.
She was like my sister, she was married and her husband opens a shop and was looking for a person to work along with him. She said to me that once she will talk to him about me as I can work, further I just have to meet him once and let see. I went to her husband’s shop, had good communication with him and he was a nice person. He said that I can join the work and my salary will be 600rs/month. I ask him what work will be allotted to me, so he said to come first then will see accordingly.